by Christie Browning
There are many aspects I love most about my Heavenly Father. However, what I love most about Him is that He is redeeming God. His love and mercy knows no end. He doesn't get impatient with me. He doesn't throw up His hands in frustration wondering what to do with me. He never gives up on me even when I fall down over and over again... He is there every time I turn around to run back to Him. Yet I've been struggling to find time with Him.
A year ago, I was filling my mornings with scripture reading, prayer and journaling notes and thoughts. I called this my PB&J time - prayer, Bible and journal. However, when I went to work full time, my mornings were full of showers, makeup and packing lunches. Although I was up at 4 a.m. to see my hubby off to work, I would crawl back into bed instead of spending those early hours with my Father who I love so dearly.
It's funny that something I say I love so much is so hard to make a priority. I also love writing but I can say I haven't spent a lot of time in front of the keyboard this past year. Why is that? Why is it that I am so easily distracted by things I really don't care about, such as watching TV or Netflix, social media scrolling, playing silly online games, or getting hung up on house cleaning (OK, I do see the need for that, unfortunately). All the time I spend on these meaningless things rob me of the time I say I love, but yet....they win out each day.
As I review the last 12 months (see my retrospective post here) I know there have been many ups and downs. However, even in my most difficult, darkest times of life, my quiet time and my writing has been a lifeline for me, something to keep me tethered to my true, authentic self. But let me just say that has not been the case this year. And consequently, I feel like I've had to fight to stay connected to my heart, to my Father and to my sanity!
I recently sat in a class on a Sunday morning where the teacher spoke of a "love affair" with scripture and with time with God. I felt very moved to make my PB&J time a priority, but when Monday rolled around, that didn't happen... another week and not PB&J. Thankfully, I trust that my Heavenly Father knows my heart's desire is to be in those quiet moments each morning. I believe He is watching, rooting for me to win over my busy schedule, to find that time for Him. And when the time comes and I settle in to study, read and pray, I know He'll be waiting... ready to offer that loving kindness that so welcomes me unto Him.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness -- Lamentations 3:22-23